Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Willing to relocate...





















Five years ago when my friends asked me the hypothetical question “Would you move for love?” My answer was unequivocally a resounding “NO!” before the question could completely leave their lips. I have been living in the Bay Area now for a little over 10 years. I fell in love with this place before I even stepped off the plane. Just flying over the Bay Area, I was captivated by the sheer beauty.


I moved here in my early twenties, and for all intensive purposes, this is where I became an adult. It was here that I landed my first “real job”, bought my first car, went to grad school, earned a masters degree, bought my first piece of property. It was here in good old California that I became a grown-up. Naturally, I have a burning passion for this place. As a native New Yorker there are so many things that I adore and appreciate about the bay. Way beyond the amazing weather, Indian summers, the smell of honeysuckle, and urban eclectic charm, I simply couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. I have also suffered a great deal of heartache and disappointment in relationships here.


Ten years later I have been thinking about this question of “moving for love”... I never thought I would admit this but now having spent the last 4 years of my life single, lonely and borderline depressed, I think, yes, I would move for love. The thought of leaving this place that I am so madly in love with literally makes my chest feel tight as I type this, however, the thought of spending the rest of my life alone is unbearable.


“Wherever you are, there you are.” Someone once uttered those words to me. I wonder is this statement accurate? Yes indeed, one is pretty much stuck with oneself as long as one resides anywhere on this planet, but as one who has a degree in marketing, I understand all to well that it’s about location, location, location. What is it about the beautiful bay area that makes finding a mate such an impossible feat? Furthermore, why does it seem like single women here have to work so much harder to meet a nice guy? It shouldn’t be this damn hard. However, if the odds are stacked against me, perhaps I am in the wrong location to find love, and if that’s the case, hell yeah, I would move for love.

6 comments:

jeff said...

Caveat: Not-exactly-single guy commenting. :)

I have no silver-bullet answer to these concerns, but some things that your post made me think about:
-- even if you're willing to move, it might matter *where* you're being asked to move--true love in NYC might be ok, while true love in Dallas, maybe not so much?
-- who says the guy can't move his ass to the Bay Area to be near you, rather than the other way around?
-- Is it naive of me to ask whether it's better to aim for True Love or to see how things develop between you and men you're dating? Maybe you have to do a bit of both.

I have millions of other ideas, but very curious to hear what all of your friends think of this...

Jiza said...

I like the way you think Jeff...
I must also pose the question at hand to you... from a "not-exactly-single" male perspective... would you move for love? If you met the person of your dreams and they were everything you ever wanted in a mate, but lived in Podunk, Iowa, would you move to be with them?

Nicki said...

I would have to agree with you Jiza! I would defiantly move for love...although, six years ago after moving for love then, I would have said "NO". Since then, I have re-visited the thought and the answer would be...without a doubt "Hell Yes". Stay true to your heart!
xoxo

Jiza said...

So you don't have any regrets about moving from love even if ultimately that particular relationship didn't work out? I'm so glad to have the "been there done that" perspective... give us more Nicki!!!

ccosma00 said...

Hmmm... well, I know two people that have relocated. One is an actual man. His girlfriend's (is that even a terminology to use in our mid 30's? girlfriend/boyfriend)job has relocated her to Florida. She is taking the job offer and he is following her behind. His reasoning, if this is going to work I am going to have to relocate. This will be their first time living together. He will be proposing right before her move this October.
Another person is a classmate. She was torn with staying in the country she now calls home (USA) and where her love is (Hong Kong).Well, she decided that she is getting older wants a family and wants this to work.She moved this summer all the way to China...they are getting married. She was scared but she made a leap and she seems very very happy.
I think relocating for love might become a little more difficult if there are kids involve. None, of the above have children. I know five or six years ago I would have not relocated but now with more maturity on my side, knowing what I want and if both my partner and I are in agreement of what it is we want, I think I will do it.

Chelsea said...

I know I'm a youngin', but I say moving for love is a-okay, as long as you're open to new places (maybe excluding the great state of Texas) and don't lose yourself. Following a man to a city you could possibly picture yourself in is one thing, but trading in your hopes and dreams to match his is quite another!

Life is an adventure! You'll know what to do...