Annoying things that couples say to singles…

Funny how “they” say that love will find you when you least expect it. I got bit by the love bug… hard! A couple of months ago I went to Chicago to visit a good girlfriend who moved there over the summer. While there I connected with an old guy friend of mine. I can’t quite put my finger on what changed for me but when I saw him something bubbled up inside me and I instantly knew that there was something there. Little did I know that just a few months later I would be head over heels in love with a man I’ve known for 6 years. Never in a million years would I have thought that my trip to Chicago would lead to me finding love.

I used to be (and still am…) gravely annoyed by my friends who are in relationships that say shit like: “You’ll find love when you least expect it, or when you are not looking for it!” In my brain that was almost the equivalent of running fingernails down a chalkboard. Now after many years of living the “single-life” and having my fair share of horrible dating stories, I can honestly, but begrudgingly say that they were all right. It was at that moment when I literally decided that “I’m done!”, that love decided to waltz into my life.

While I am happy, elated, on cloud nine, there is one thing I absolutely know for sure. No matter how true the aforementioned statement is, I will never utter those dreadful words to my single friends, because in my world, they are right up there with “You are such a great catch, I don’t understand why you are single?”. I don’t know how some people can fix their faces to let these words drop out of it and think that this is a compliment. Let me set the record straight and let it be known that it is NOT! This question, while it may seem like a compliment is one of the biggest insults and most singles I know take this question to mean: “What is wrong with YOU?”

*Climbing down off of soap-box, and back up on cloud nine now*

Willing to relocate...

Five years ago when my friends asked me the hypothetical question “Would you move for love?” My answer was unequivocally a resounding “NO!” before the question could completely leave their lips. I have been living in the Bay Area now for a little over 10 years. I fell in love with this place before I even stepped off the plane. Just flying over the Bay Area, I was captivated by the sheer beauty.

I moved here in my early twenties, and for all intensive purposes, this is where I became an adult. It was here that I landed my first “real job”, bought my first car, went to grad school, earned a masters degree, bought my first piece of property. It was here in good old California that I became a grown-up. Naturally, I have a burning passion for this place. As a native New Yorker there are so many things that I adore and appreciate about the bay. Way beyond the amazing weather, Indian summers, the smell of honeysuckle, and urban eclectic charm, I simply couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. I have also suffered a great deal of heartache and disappointment in relationships here.

Ten years later I have been thinking about this question of “moving for love”... I never thought I would admit this but now having spent the last 4 years of my life single, lonely and borderline depressed, I think, yes, I would move for love. The thought of leaving this place that I am so madly in love with literally makes my chest feel tight as I type this, however, the thought of spending the rest of my life alone is unbearable.

“Wherever you are, there you are.” Someone once uttered those words to me. I wonder is this statement accurate? Yes indeed, one is pretty much stuck with oneself as long as one resides anywhere on this planet, but as one who has a degree in marketing, I understand all to well that it’s about location, location, location. What is it about the beautiful bay area that makes finding a mate such an impossible feat? Furthermore, why does it seem like single women here have to work so much harder to meet a nice guy? It shouldn’t be this damn hard. However, if the odds are stacked against me, perhaps I am in the wrong location to find love, and if that’s the case, hell yeah, I would move for love.