Thursday, October 9, 2008

Embracing Singlehood (trying anyway...)

I spent a good part of this year trying desperately to get rid of my “single status” as if it were a disease. I longed to find a partner, to be coupled up, use the term “we” and have someone to check in with before accepting invitations etc… The bay area is “Couple Central”… every where you go you see people hand-in-hand/arm-in arm, or in pairs. I’m constantly reminded of my solitude and even at times feel isolated because I don’t have a “plus 1”. I’m starting to realize here lately that being single does not have to be a death sentence. Since when did getting married have to be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? While I would never ever EVER give up on love, I’m starting to realize that being with myself is not such a bad thing. (I actually love my own company, for the record!)

I just received an email from my on-line dating site telling me to check my inbox as someone has just sent me a message. As always with excitement I go to my inbox only to find this message: “u r cute as fuck.” Not knowing exactly how to respond to that, I choose simply to send it to the trash, but it got me thinking… for every one decent email I receive from someone who as actually taken the time to read my profile, I receive about 10 other “cute as fuck” emails. What’s a girl to do?

Call me a defeatist, but I’m starting to realize that although I have attended two successful weddings of dear friends who have met their mates on-line, the on-line thing simply does NOT work for me. My latest suitor helped me realize that while I may be cute as fuck, I need not resort to the virtual meat market to meet my Mr. Right, and maybe just maybe I can make it through the holidays alone again this year.

My little sister has been telling me as long as she could talk that I am “too picky”. I have male friends that tell me that I have “unreasonable expectations” and should consider letting go of some of my “requirements” or deal-breakers. Perhaps they are all right. The older I get the more I am realizing that if I forget about finding a “husband” and just set my intentions on attracting love into my life, then perhaps this whole dating thing would be nearly as daunting and frustrating for me. One thing I am fairly certain about: I am DONE with the on-line dating!

1 comment:

jeff said...

I'm not sure what all of your deal-breakers are, but I wouldn't, in general, say that you should lower your standards regarding what you want (I say this in part because I know you also have high standards for friendships, and for yourself).

I do, however, think that the attitude of just welcoming love into your life as much as possible is a good way to go. Of course, I'm older than you and have never been married, so take it with many grains of salt. :)