Willing to relocate...

Five years ago when my friends asked me the hypothetical question “Would you move for love?” My answer was unequivocally a resounding “NO!” before the question could completely leave their lips. I have been living in the Bay Area now for a little over 10 years. I fell in love with this place before I even stepped off the plane. Just flying over the Bay Area, I was captivated by the sheer beauty.

I moved here in my early twenties, and for all intensive purposes, this is where I became an adult. It was here that I landed my first “real job”, bought my first car, went to grad school, earned a masters degree, bought my first piece of property. It was here in good old California that I became a grown-up. Naturally, I have a burning passion for this place. As a native New Yorker there are so many things that I adore and appreciate about the bay. Way beyond the amazing weather, Indian summers, the smell of honeysuckle, and urban eclectic charm, I simply couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. I have also suffered a great deal of heartache and disappointment in relationships here.

Ten years later I have been thinking about this question of “moving for love”... I never thought I would admit this but now having spent the last 4 years of my life single, lonely and borderline depressed, I think, yes, I would move for love. The thought of leaving this place that I am so madly in love with literally makes my chest feel tight as I type this, however, the thought of spending the rest of my life alone is unbearable.

“Wherever you are, there you are.” Someone once uttered those words to me. I wonder is this statement accurate? Yes indeed, one is pretty much stuck with oneself as long as one resides anywhere on this planet, but as one who has a degree in marketing, I understand all to well that it’s about location, location, location. What is it about the beautiful bay area that makes finding a mate such an impossible feat? Furthermore, why does it seem like single women here have to work so much harder to meet a nice guy? It shouldn’t be this damn hard. However, if the odds are stacked against me, perhaps I am in the wrong location to find love, and if that’s the case, hell yeah, I would move for love.

Dating & the City...

Today, Tuesday, September 23, 2008, marks the end of the string of bad dates that I have been on in 2008.  Back in January, I set an “intention” with myself to be engaged by the end of 2008.  (I know that sounds all new agey and shit, but when in San Francisco...)  I told everyone I knew and anyone that would listen that I was single, and available and interested in meeting someone wonderful.  Though my friends had good intentions I was set up on terrible dates with men who could not be farther from my “type”.  I had to question whether my friends really knew me at all.  I took it all in stride, justifying that these experiences will be the makings of good material for the book that I would ultimately write about my bad, yet humorous dating stories.  One by one, the man who was clearly gay who came up to my boobs, or the guy who told me I was too fat (oh I got the email to prove it...), or the guy who did pull-ups on tree limbs during our hike and took me through a rigorous boot-camp afterwards,  or the guy who showed up to our first date wearing track pants, tennis shoes and an over sized grey t-shirt, and finally that man who introduced me to his ex-wife and 12 year old daughter on our first date all made appearances in my world and provided me with endless stories to share. Oh how my friends and family laughed and howled at all of the comedy that was ultimately my sad (and lonely) quest upon finding Mr. Right.

I finally decided enough was enough.  I canceled all of my on-line dating subscriptions (match.com & eharmony.com), and would not even entertain the “I have the perfect person you should meet…” hook-ups from friends looking at me with wild googly eyes.  “I swear this one is normal…” they would protest.  I was done.  DONE.

Months went by and I nearly forgot about one on-line dating site that I remained active (only because it was free…) and came across a rather attractive man.  After a few email exchanges, hours of on-line chatting, and a brief phone call we decided to meet. 

It was the most perfect and lovely first date I have had in years.  I arrived early, so as usual my head was stuck in a book, when I looked up and saw this beautiful man standing over me.  I rose to give him a friendly hug, and could see immediately that he was blushing.  We both ordered the same dish (a fruit plate), and laughed and told stories for nearly an hour.  He offered to walk me to my car, I accepted and we sat and talked some more.  It was just so comforting how easy the conversation flowed.  There were no awkward silences, we laughed easily together, and I could not believe that not only was there mutual chemistry there, there was also an easy friendliness and genuine/honest nature that made being around this guy very nice.  So I am beyond excited and happy, and encouraged that on this day, I met a nice (from what I can tell so far…) “normal” guy, whom I found very attractive.  Regardless of what happens,  I am still delighted in the fact that not every single date I went on in 2008 was material for horror stories which I will tell my children one day, or better yet, end up as a best-seller for single 30-something’s across the US. (Hey a girl can dream...)